Tweets

Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
I have a way to stop drinking and driving: put a pub in every neighborhood. #problemsolved
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
RT
RT @robhuebel: End-of-Summer clearance sale on all my personal swimwear. Used by me. Cash only. No cops.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Friggin date night yeah!
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
You know you have kids when... you vacuum the carpets and they don't get clean. #parenthood
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Replying to @vilcsak
@vilcsak the only thing better than someone having a $550 regret is them fixit you details... ;)
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
@longstride universal health insurance = Canada. Come on up! We're good people.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
RT
RT @ConanOBrien: Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
RT
RT @MiserableParent: Ok, fine. I'll admit it. Most of the time when I'm in the bathroom, I'm hiding out from my kids.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Babies will destroy your stuff.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
RT
RT @robdelaney: Weird that inside each of us is a skeleton that will one day wander the earth carrying a rusty sword.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
@paulbellows Paul!!! Are tickets to tonight's show only available in advance?
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
@rocketslide damn. I'm just drinking a beer. You're 50% more productive than me.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Anyone else in #yeg had Anchor Steam Beer before? How'd you like it? #yegbeer
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
RT
RT @rands: When you don't answer a mail, you are sending a response.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
@sh damn. That sounds painful... and permanent.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Replying to @amyhoy
@amyhoy Interesting that people perceived Vienna as safe just by looking at photos (with no geographic context). "Hot or not" for cities.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Back to school is like summer holidays for parents.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Replying to @dustin
@_ds are you moving away from Kelowna? It's such a beautiful place!
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
I just had ONE SIP of Monster Energy Drink & immediately threw a fax machine at my boss. #RT via @rob delaney
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Replying to @ink_slinger
@ink_slinger unless you're wearing cowboy boots. You can get away with anything if you're wearing cowboy boots.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Replying to @kevinhorek
@kevinhorek well, if you're going to rock the bare-chested look, you've got to be confident. Think Conan the Barbarian. Don't try to hide.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Parental #winning: when your 2 year old drops his jam toast, and it lands jam-side up.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
Replying to @amyhoy
@amyhoy shit! This happened to me too! Shit Google! I'd pay $20 / month just for them to simplify their shit and make it functional.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
INSOMNIA!
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
I have 4 kids and none of them have a job.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
RT
RT @robdelaney: A childhood friend had a black toilet in his house. I always felt like a wizard putting a horrible ingredient in a cauldron.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
@sh ha ha ha! That's gotta be a scene from a new Steve Carell film.
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
RT
RT @Jesus_M_Christ: Just decided all prayers will no longer end with 'amen.' Starting tomorrow we're going with "SHAZAM!"
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Justin Jackson
Justin Jackson@mijustin
RT
RT @Jesus_M_Christ: And Jesus gazed upon his 12 disciples and proclaimed, "At least one of you has got to have some weed."
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